A.D. ~ a dream

I can't believe I am this close to her. I CAN NOT believe it. I blink twice and move to pinch myself, then the thought that if this is a dream I would rather not wake myself stops me. She is more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. Her smell is heavy and sweet, like girl and grass and fire and winter all tangled together. Her skin is so clean I * I could taste it.
When she speaks it is with a goofy self awareness, so sure she seems unsure. I wonder if she can tell I am in love with her. I wonder if her heart and lungs and internal organs can feel me the way mine feel her.
She leans a little to sing and with her voice comes angels, tiny doves, miracles. All just fall from her lips, glistening in spit and honey. She moves like shamans, like Indians calling the rain with their shaking, sweating, beautiful brown bodies. She cries out soft as a woman tucking in a child with a lullaby, but still a cry.
I scoop up the angels and the doves and the miracles and I beg her to let me take what it is that brings forth her tears, I promise that I will keep her safe and she looks as if she may let me. She falls into my chest, sags there against me, weakness drips from her and makes a puddle on the floor. Only a moment she lets me hold her, only a brief fleeting second in the history of this earth. Then she straightens herself and shakes her head. I am not the angel she is I cannot possible take from her what she takes from the earth and hold through each night just to keep us safe from ourselves.