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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Virginia Un-charmed

The End.

Of a time, a way, a thought, a world ~ all where I worshiped you as if the gods themselves envied you. You were my study, my dream. It was your voice always inside of me. You were my religion.

Now I hand to you the note cards and feel almost humorous, to give them to you. To suggest that you might one day look around and decide that it is you who wants to pen a thought or two to me. Comical, really.

From within myself I watch the world as it turns on its axis, heavy and delicately balanced. I can’t help but wonder what would happen if it did shift and we all tumbled right out of place. I felt that before, as if I were tumbling out of place, my own personal earth having bounced from its axis. It was the single most frightening thing and then again it was the most beautiful. One cannot go back, cannot pretend that they never lived out of orbit. It will not work, or that is my experience.

My name does not matter for I am your Virginia, a Woolf spider. Dreams of you, my coveted, my beautiful, my dearest Vita ~ they haunt me each night that I find sleep. They ravage every console I fabricate for myself and still I replay them again and again, hungrily consuming them as tiny insects caught in my web.

While our souls have met before and our basic story has been told do not pretend to know the ending, do not be so unwise. It is when one turns away assuming such knowledge that the axis is lost and all things are shifted. Instead invite time, that dreaded enemy, watch as it smoothes the rough edges and polishes the opaque surface. See what awesome luster, what amazing colors are born.

One day you will see me. Until the very recent there was no room for error, no possibility for feelings to change, no chance that things might be different. Only now does it occur to me to marvel on whether or not I will still be on my knees, hands clasped in prayer, room full of flavored smoke and meditation. Will I still be a worshiper and you still my religion?

The end.

Do not discourage for it is in the end where the attentive, the industrious, the conscientious, those that are resolute, that are dedicated and steadfast, the few which are of superior intelligence find new a beginning.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your writings are very deep and soulful. Your emotions shine through in the words that you write, and they draw your reader into your story. I only hope that one day you will find the one that will mean everything to you because you seem like you have alot to give to someone that is deserving.

6:31 PM  
Blogger Supernaturally Sagittarius said...

Thank you, for reading and for the time you took to comment. I hope you enjoy your time here.

1:38 PM  

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