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Friday, August 19, 2005

When Will You Hear Me

Wait. Please, please, I can't feel my life. I lost my breath.
Wait?
Yes, wait. I need ~ I need a moment. I have to find myself; I have to remind myself who I was before you.
You're not okay, are you?
I'm fine. Fine, fine, fine. Dust where cool liquid tears should be and I, I am fine.
Fine, like when I say that things are cool. That's what fine means. What's wrong?
No, I am fine. I'm fine. Just wait a second. It's such a small thing to ask, a tiny itty-bitty second.
You know you can talk to me, right?
I know, babe, nothing to say. For words are never what I need them to be, they are weak and without credit.
You know I appreciate you?
*Painful smile and small laugh* I know. I do, it's why I am beside you. Always.
Is it your heart?
*Another weak smile* No, I feel great ~ good, at least. My heart? My heart is dead, hung with the roses to dry. To be kept as a dark and brittle reminder of the girl I once would have sworn you were.
Quiet, she is uncomfortable.
For the first time ever,
I see her insecurities.
To a degree, they mirror my own.
Hey, hey?
What?
You have to know that I love you.
*Nod, because the burn in my throat is spreading and I cannot talk around it* I know, that's why I am always where you need me. Always where you can find me ~ should you look. Always what you need me to be. Always here. Eternally. Always.
Her arm around me,
her smell,
her memories ~ our ~
mixing with the her of my present.
*Half-hugging her back as we stand there drunk and slightly sway* What I don't get is how I hear your whisper through the violent storm, I feel your pain in my own flesh, see your face in my sleep, read your thought, that forever I am what you need, finishing your sentences. How is it that I am your completion, as sure as you are my angel. Souls which would not thrive with out their twin, and this is all true. How then is it that you don't hear what it is I really need you to know that I am saying?

3 Comments:

Anonymous Becca said...

It's a pretty sh#$%y thing when the person that you have a thing for you only wants you when no one else is around, or when you are unavailable. One day they will turn around and realize that all they had to do was look, and they would have found you. For some, it is too late, but for others the time was needed to get to the truth of the matter. Hold on to the memories of what once was, because it can be that way once more, but the question is, how long will you wait for it to be like that?

3:42 PM  
Blogger Supernaturally Sagittarius said...

The wait is over. The love has changed and continues to change, just as it continues to grow and thrive. Hold onto the memories? I have no choice, memory falls like golden rain and wets evrything in my world. Will she realize? She has. Will she fix it? Not right now, maybe never. Will things ever shift back? I don't know, but between now and the answer that is life.

9:19 AM  
Blogger Florisv said...

After rain comes sunshine. It always does, it may take a while, but the sun will break trough, once more. When I can't say, or knwo, only that it most likely will.

1:12 PM  

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