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Thursday, April 07, 2005

Safe / Alive

Safe is what you feel when you have a routine in life ~ sure things, clockwork. Safe is what lies underneath the boredom and resentment the frustration and restlessness of life. Safe is why you stay still when you feel the energy crackle inside of you, just under your skin ~ because Lord knows you cannot walk away or change direction. Not without a well thought out plan, not without the correct budget or the necessary means. (I should include here that when I use necessary in that sentence I meant it in the way that it has come to mean in the “civilized” societies of today; necessary means ~ all those things which make life comfortable and easy.) Safe is nice and I guess well enough for most, only on the other side of safe is ALIVE.Alive is when you step, or get knocked, outside the proverbial comfort zone of life. Alive is when you are stark raving mad with fear, up all night with worry, have not only hit rock bottom but have smashed into it face first and you lay there, tiny broken bits of who you thought you were, consumed with questions. Alive is after you stay at the bottom for a while, when you start to heal and you stand yourself up to have a look around. Alive comes from having all of those fears realized and yet, still breathing, still smiling over some silly child hood memory. Alive is unleashing all those self-imposed regulations, embracing the electricity and focusing the restlessness. Finally, alive is after you’ve taken the fall and you begin to find your way, thinking that you are wondering aimlessly, and then you get the answer to one of your questions ~ you look ahead of yourself and you see that all of the answers are there, just waiting to be found and you know ~ KNOW ~ that this will turn out as it should be. Not knowing what it should be, well yes that causes some stir of insects deep inside your belly, and that is just lovely!
Welcome to the living it's beautiful!


Blogger korryne said...

safe. that's an illusion. forget what they say. life's too short to waste time trying to convince yourself that happiness isn't necessary. that if you're able to exist without going utterly insane, that's enough. it's not. why not go for what you really want, even if you don't know what the hell that is. nothing is better than nothing.

you never have to be one of those people. never have to act happy, act satisfied, it shouldn't be that hard. it should be compromise, yes, but not changing, giving in until you forget what it feels like to be you. it should be easy. love is easy. happiness is easy. the rest is a lie. safe is the most dangerous place to be.

i hate to quote past things, but sometimes it jsut fits so well.

love you baby.

7:28 PM  

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