Last Night

I think that this is a time in which I can not write. I should say I can't not write honestly ~ when I open it up to look inside there is nothing, so how can I fix it or get rid of it. All that is there is me, only ~ I could've sworn it wasn't me. I know there were outside forces.
I talk to her and she touches me. My hand, my knee, my face. She says she understands what I'm saying, not what I've said. When my voice creeps to a nasty rasp of wet and pain she leans into me. Her lips on my ear as promises that are not hers to give are given. Sometimes the things that she says are so beautiful they hurt and when that happens and I breathe deep she pauses and kisses me softly.
All night she makes me smile, but underneath there is this hurt. I want her to make it go away. I want her to be the one who can, only I don't believe anyone can. That's scary.
When she leaves her arms hold me longer than a usual goodbye. Her lips sit on my temple and her breath warms me, she tells me that it's just a little longer now and we'll be so happy soon. Will we? I * she could see how deep this break actually goes. I * I could show her in some way without revealing everything else.
"I know. " I say and kiss her neck. But, do I? I might have just told her our first lie.