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Monday, May 16, 2005

I Can Never Explain

I cannot tell you how your beauty makes me feel, how the warmth that stirs between us makes me smile. I cannot begin to talk to you of how as we make love you release me, how every time you look at me with that spark in your eye I die inside. I could never express how I wake from dreams of you and my entire body hurts to have you near me ~ to have to touch me or sleep so close that I might hear your breath ~ feel your heart beat. There are no words for the peace that fills me when I lay you down to sleep. When I sit with you ~ hold you ~ stroke you ~ watch you ~ as you drift off into sleep. How I am entranced as I lean in and kiss your forehead goodnight before I slip out of your room and let myself out your door. You ~ for all that you know of the countless way in which I worship you ~ may very well leave this life with out every truly knowing what you are to me. What your existence means to my own ~ what knowing you has done to the very fabric which makes me ~ me. You may never know how much better I am because of you ~ how much more and brighter ~ how changed and awake. You may never understand the amount of writing that would not have been done, the person who never would have walked this earth.
If you understand just one infinitesimal, miniscule fragment of what you and this and we are and what you and this and we mean to me then I will be satisfied for you have had a glimpse at what it is to be me ~ what it is to be so whole-heartedly privileged enough to not only look at you ~ to not only touch you and taste you ~ to adore you in such a multiple of beautiful and intimate ways.


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